Always Been There
by ToTheEnterprise
Summary: After many close encounters with his Captain, Spock comes to realise he can love after all.


_Always been there_

_After some close encounters with his Captain, Spock comes to realise he can love after all_

"Scotty? Come in Scotty!" Kirk yelled through his communicator. He flipped it up and back down again. "Damn it!"

"It appears Captain that your communicator isn't working. We shall have to use mine"

"As you wish Mr Spock"

"Mr Scott?"

"Aye Mr Spock"

"Beam us up"

"I can't the transporter is still powering up. It will take a few moments"

"Damn it Scotty hurry up!"

"All right Captain. It's not me fault!"

The planet they were standing on was falling apart from under there feet. A rock came dangerously close to Jim's body.

"Jim!" Spock grabbed him by the waist crashing them both onto the floor. Spock landed hard on top of his Captain. Spock and Jim were both panting hard and had seemed to forgotten the fact that a forbidden planet was crashing down around them, they were more concerned about each other eyes.

"Mr Spock beaming you up now!"

Spock pulled himself of his Captain as they prepared to be beamed back to the Enterprise.

"Ah good to have ye back"

"Thank you Mr Scott. Next time could you be a little quicker?"

"Um? You're welcome?"

"Excuse me I must excuse myself"

"Spock are you OK?

"Perfectly OK Captain"

Spock made his way to the sick bay and waited for Doctor McCoy to return. He sat on the edge of a bed and pressed his fingers to his lips.

"Spock? Is there something I can help you with?"

"I need to seek advice"

"Advice from me?"

"Yes"

"Must be serious then, what's wrong?"

"When I was down on the planet with the Captain I felt a feeling that I haven't experienced before. Almost like an emotion"

"How do you mean? What did you feel?"

"My stomach felt like there was a raging war inside of it. Almost as if I was nervous"

"What situation were you in?"

"Well I was trying to shield him, I landed on top of him"

"I see. It's quite obvious"

"Obvious?"

"I can't believe I'm saying this .. but, Spock. You are in love"

"That's not possible"

"What? Just because you're a Vulcan. You are forgetting, your Vulcan father fell in love with a human female"

"But in love with Jim?"

"Let me ask you something. Vulcan do not like to be touched. Yet you let Jim touch you all the time. He has held you hand, wrapped his arms around your waist, carried you and rubbed his hands up your arms"

"He.. makes me feel safe"

"And that is not a human emotion?"

"Feeling safe? I wouldn't say that Doctor"

"For god sake you stubborn ass Vulcan. You are in love with Jim. Why can't you accept it?"

"I have not experienced love before"

"You haven't? What about during Pon Farr when you mated with that Vulcan female?"

"That wasn't a choice. It wasn't love. It was either mate or die"

"What about Leila? You loved her"

"I did not. I was under the influence of flower spores, or sex pollen if you prefer"

"Wow. I had no idea."

"I also do not want to hurt Jim"

"You don't trust yourself?"

"If what you are saying is true. About loving the Captain. It means my emotions are compromised. When this happens I cannot control them."

"Does this mean you cannot control yourself physically either"

"That is correct."

"So you could easily throw yourself at Jim and he wouldn't stand a chance. Your strength is too powerful"

"I would never hurt Jim. I would not take advantage of him like that. I wouldn't. I couldn't"

"I know Spock. I Believe you"

"I am not sure on what to do."

"Just talk to him Spock. I'm sure you could just bring it in up in conversation"

"I shall do so"

Kirk was in his quarters playing a 3rd game of chess with the computer. They had won a game each. He chuckled gently as he thought of his next move. He was rather distracted. What had happened with Spock earlier had been on his mind all day. He and Spock both panting hard, Spock holding him down with his body, how light he felt on top of him.

"Oh Jim. I'm sorry, I hope I am not interrupting "

"You are always so polite to me Spock. No of course not come in"

"Thank you." Spock took a seat next to Jim in front of the chess board

"Captain have you ever been afraid of telling someone something because you are not sure of the consequences?"

"How do you mean?"

"Let me make an example. Say if you had strong feelings for someone. Feelings you were not used to but you were afraid to tell that person in case you might not like their reaction"

"Spock are you trying to tell me something?"

"Well I. I"

"Spock just tell me. Come on"

"It seems after all our close encounters together I have developed certain feelings for you. Feelings of love for you" Spock stood up and faced away from his Captain ready for his reaction.

"Spock why didn't you tell me this? How long?"

"I suppose ever since I met you. You had an effect on me, my feelings. I've spent a life time trying to hide them. I tried to ignore it, but it didn't seem to help"

"Spock. You should have told me. I would have told you how I felt about you. Which happens to be the same"

"You were waiting for me?"

"I would have waited a lifetime if I had to"

Spock stayed turned away from his Captain as he felt himself blush a shade of green.

"Spock turn around please look at me"

Spock turned round to face Jim. Every time he saw him he thought he looked more beautiful. Jim moved slightly closer to Spock. Kirk took Spock's hand entwining their fingers. Kirk put two fingers under Spock's chin bringing his lips to his. Their lips met in a warm embrace, Spock's lips parted from underneath Jim's. Their lips became more commanding on each others for need. Spock's lips speeded up and Jim felt himself being pushed into the wall behind him. Spock scrambled to press a button on the wall locking them in Jim's quarters. Jim wrapped his legs round Spock's waist as he backed him further into the wall. Both disguarded their shirts, the feeling of Spock's bare chest in contact with Jim's made him gasp.

"Spock you're so warm" Jim shivered

"Yes I am a Vulcan where you seem to be very cold"

Spock removed both there trousers and underwear and picked Jim up carrying him over to the bed.

"You're so light" Jim wriggled from beneath him

"You are also lighter than you look"

Spock's lips were now on Jim's neck kissing in an upward motion and sucking on his collarbone. Multi tasking Spock shifted his hips up towards Jim's rubbing against him,

"Spock..., "Jim" They both gasped at the same time"

Jim flipped Spock onto his back switching their positions. "My turn"

"If you wish but it will not end this way"

"I like that talk from you Mr Spock"

Jim's lips started from the bottom part of Spock's neck and kissed upwards tasting his skin. He continued getting small gasps and moans out of Spock. He this time grinned his hips towards Spock's rubbing their naked hardness against each other. Spock grabbed the bed sheets clenching his fingers in.

"J-J-Jim. Oh ah"

Spock flipped Jim back onto his back and kissed his chest until he reached his nipple. He sucked it gently and twirled it in his mouth.

"Ah Spock. Spock"

Spock turned Jim over on his stomach and was close to his entrance. His breath hitched in his Captain's ear as he kissed up the back of his neck.

"I will be gentle I promise, I will not hurt you" He whispered in Jim's ear.

He entered Jim slowly and hesitated for a moment before moving. He thrust into Jim slowly. He hardly felt anything with with the pleasure he was feeling. He never knew Spock could make him feel this good. The connection of their bodies felt amazing to him.

"Ah. Oh Spock"

"Jim, this feels so good. So much pleasure. I love you"

Spock increased his thrusts and buried himself deeper inside of Jim. He held onto the headboard on the bed which broke under his great strength. It encouraged him to make sure he was careful. If he could do that to the bed what could he do to Jim. He buried himself in deeper but kept his thrusts slower in an attempt not to hurt his mate. Spock felt himself on the edge of release buried deep inside of Jim.

"Jim. I'm. I'm going to"

"I know Spock. Me to. Together" He gasped

They both released together and Spock collapsed next to Jim. He looked at the feathers that were floating from the wrecked pillows and headboard.

"I am sorry about your bed"

"It's OK"

Kirk looked in the mirror the morning after at his bare chest. On it lay bruises from the previous night. He felt Spock's arms wrap around his waist.

"I am sorry. I have hurt you"

"It's fine Spock. I overestimated your strength"

"I love you My Captain"

"And I love you My Spock"


End file.
